Andy Rooney

ANDY ROONEY
Andy Rooney is one of my favorite authors! Literary snobs will look down their nose at my choice. I like his style, and his humorous sarcasm. T am a couple of months older than Andy (each of us is 90), and I can vividly relate to all his experiences. If I had his talent, and recall, I could have written a book that would parallel his! I have finished his “Out of My Mind”, and am currently reading his previous book, “Common Nonsence.” In the latter book, he has a lead in to each Part. Without his permission, I would like to recap them:
PART 1 - Daily Life in America.
“Further proof of the fact that hope springs eternal is everyone’s anticipation that the mail will bring something wonderful even though it seldom does.”
PART 2 - Food and Drink- Health and Doctors.
“The idea of having a cup of coffee is usually better than the coffee.”
P\ART3 - Politics.
“Everyone doesn’t have a right to his opinion. The person who doesn’t know what he is talking about does not have a right to his own opinion. It’s why I’m never too much in favor of getting everyone out to vote on election day. Some people are too dumb or know too little about the issues and I hate to have one of them negating or canceling out the vote of someone who has bothered to inform him- or herself.
PART 4 - Sports.
“If all you care about is winning, you aren’t a real fan.”
PART 5 - Entertainment and the Arts.
“I’m impressed by people who love the opera but I don’t. It sounds silly to me and I have the feeling that if they sang it in English, it would sound silly to everyone.
PART 6 - Learning.
“You meet a lot of dumb people who went to college.”
PART 7 - Work, Life and Success.
It’s amazing to see who doesn’t show up for work when the weather is bad. It’s usually the people we could do without any day.”
PART 8 - The Writing Life.
“We need more plumbers and electricians than we need poets ~ but we need poets, too. There are more bad poets than bad electricians and plumbers. Maybe poets ought to be licensed.
PART 9 - Home Life.
“You never see old men sitting in rocking chairs on their front porches whittling anymore. Rocking chairs, front porches and whittling al seem to have gone out of style. Old men, on the other hand, are all over the place.”
PART 10 - Animals.
“There aren’t as many canaries in cages as there used to be.”
PART 11 - Travel.
“No matter how big your suitcase is, it’s always a little small for what you are trying to get into it.”
PART 12 - Big Issues.
“Investigative television shows like 60 Minutes are always finding someone on death row who didn’t do it. They never conclude he really did do it. It’s puzzling to viewers because someone out there is murdering people.
PART 13 - Progress.
“The fastest thing a computer does is become outdated.”
PART 14 - People and Places.
“People don’t whistle as much as they used to.”
Note: I am already looking forward to his next book.
RCL - 3/2/09.