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HOME
I never thought much about the definition of “Home” before. I think that home means different things to different people, Home is in the eye of the beholder. Webster defines “Home” with multiple definitions - covering 3 ½ column- inches. Home is a nifty word. It is very flexible and adaptable. The word “Home” can be used as a noun, verb or adverb!
When I was young, home was where my parents and siblings resided. When I was in the Air Force, “Home was still the same place. After Marie and I were married, Home was two places - homes, where we were currently living and each of our former family homes.
The reason that I bring this up is, Marie mentions “home” quite frequently, She and I lived together, here at Quail Creek, for a year before she moved to the Laurel Creek Health Center. When her dementia became worse, she frequently mentioned that she “wanted to go home”. I asked her where home was - expecting her to say “Vallejo”. our prior home. Instead, she surprised me when she said “Where my Mother and sisters are”. The reason that I was surprised, is that all four of them are deceased.
At Laurel Creek, Marie frequently asks me when she can go home? I asked her the same question, and she said “Where you are.” While her reply makes sense to me, I think of “home” where I am physically located.
This “homing” request is not unique to Marie. It seems to go with the territory. I hear the same thing from other residents of Laurel Creek. The solicitations fly in the face of their getting the best care that money can buy - perhaps, except for private in-home care. A fairly new resident appeals to me every day, when I am there visiting Marie. As I approach her in the hallway, as she sits in her wheel chair, she greets me with “Darling will you help me? Will you take me home?” My response is: (I would preface it with the word “darling”, but this probably would not be politically correct) - “You are home”.
After passing, I can hear her make the same request from the next passer-by - be it staff or a visitor.
Marie and I have moved twenty six times during our nearly 65 years of marriage. Were each of these places “homes”? While 26 moves seem like a lot, they were a lot. Many of the moves came during WWII and the Korean Wars, when I was in the Air Force.
Our moves were pretty simple. We threw all of our possessions in the trunk, and back seat, of the car, and we were “moving”. These many moves were offset by a longer stay in Vallejo. We lived 24 years in our first home, and then 22 years in the second one - before we moved to Fairfield in 2008.
So, this Holiday, when we hear the recording of Tony Bennett singing “I’ll Be Home For Christmas”, it will bring back different memories of “home” for all of us.
RCL - 12/3/09.
- 12/4/09.