Happy Anniversary!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Today is December 23, 2008. This is a very important date for me. For it was on this date, in 1944, when Marie (fondly known to me as”Pete”), and I were married. Sixty four years ago ! Time - where have you gone?
This important day fell on a Saturday. I received my pilot wings in the morning, and we were married that afternoon. Our wedding took place in the Immaculate Conception church in Douglas, Arizona. When you think of a small wedding, you are thinking of ours. I had just graduated from the four-month Advanced Pilot program, flying B-25’s. Marie was winding down the semester at Mills College in Oakland. My instructor was the “best man”, and his wife was the “matron of honor”. Marie and I met her for the first time at the altar! Marie also met my instructor for the first time. Marie’s mother, Ethel, came down with her from Tulare (CA). Marie wanted to be married in Tulare - her hometown. Our commanding officer said that we couldn’t have a “leave’. We should report directly to our next duty station. So, we switched to plan B - getting married in Douglas. But, at the last minute, the powers that be, authorized a two week leave. It was too late to return to plan A at this point. Besides the priest, Ethel and our two attendants, a few of my Student Officer- classmates were also there.
In reflecting back, our marriage should never have lasted this long. We only dated a few times, when I was stationed in Tulare and Bakersfield. Too, we hadn’t seen each other in the four months leading up to our wedding. This combination is usually a recipe for failure. I won’t say that we “lucked out”, because there was more than luck involved to achieve this married longevity. One hears the phrase - “Marriage is a 50-50 proposition. While this is a true theorem, it is only an average. Most times, the interaction varies considerably for one spouse or the other. When I responded to “Do you take this woman - for better, or for worse?” those many years ago, I didn’t realize what I agreed to. Not that it would have changed my response, but I didn’t realize the power of those words!
I have mixed emotions today! I am very happy, and thankful, to be married to Marie for 64 years! We have had much more happiness, than
un- happiness together. I have enjoyed helping to raise our five daughters - our family togetherness - our traveling - in the U.S. while I was still working and in Europe, during our retirement years.
But, today, I am very sad because I have “lost” my wife! Her neurologist has diagnosed her with Alzheimer- dementia, and Marie is no longer the same person that I knew through the years. Dr. Pai showed us the print of her brain-MRI. He pointed out the area in her frontal cortex where she has lost 50 percent of the brain cells. With this handicap, she has lost her recent memory, and pretty much functions like a five-year old! While I don’t see her old self; at times she no longer recognizes me! I have great difficulty communicating with her. When the memory is gone, every thing to her is a new experience, and I cannot affect “change” Yet, Marie still has that “sweetness” about her! She realizes that something is wrong, and thanks me for helping her, and says, “I love you”.
“Happy Anniversary, Pete!”