HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!
Today is December 23, 2008. This is a very important date for me. For it was on this date, in 1944, when Marie (fondly known to me as”Pete”), and I were married. Sixty four years ago ! Time - where have you gone?
This important day fell on a Saturday. I received my pilot wings in the morning, and we were married that afternoon. Our wedding took place in the Immaculate Conception church in Douglas, Arizona. When you think of a small wedding, you are thinking of ours. I had just graduated from the four-month Advanced Pilot program, flying B-25’s. Marie was winding down the semester at Mills College in Oakland. My instructor was the “best man”, and his wife was the “matron of honor”. Marie and I met her for the first time at the altar! Marie also met my instructor for the first time. Marie’s mother, Ethel, came down with her from Tulare (CA). Marie wanted to be married in Tulare - her hometown. Our commanding officer said that we couldn’t have a “leave’. We should report directly to our next duty station. So, we switched to plan B - getting married in Douglas. But, at the last minute, the powers that be, authorized a two week leave. It was too late to return to plan A at this point. Besides the priest, Ethel and our two attendants, a few of my Student Officer- classmates were also there.
In reflecting back, our marriage should never have lasted this long. We only dated a few times, when I was stationed in Tulare and Bakersfield. Too, we hadn’t seen each other in the four months leading up to our wedding. This combination is usually a recipe for failure. I won’t say that we “lucked out”, because there was more than luck involved to achieve this married longevity. One hears the phrase - “Marriage is a 50-50 proposition. While this is a true theorem, it is only an average. Most times, the interaction varies considerably for one spouse or the other. When I responded to “Do you take this woman - for better, or for worse?” those many years ago, I didn’t realize what I agreed to. Not that it would have changed my response, but I didn’t realize the power of those words!
I have mixed emotions today! I am very happy, and thankful, to be married to Marie for 64 years! We have had much more happiness, than
un- happiness together. I have enjoyed helping to raise our five daughters - our family togetherness - our traveling - in the U.S. while I was still working and in Europe, during our retirement years.
But, today, I am very sad because I have “lost” my wife! Her neurologist has diagnosed her with Alzheimer- dementia, and Marie is no longer the same person that I knew through the years. Dr. Pai showed us the print of her brain-MRI. He pointed out the area in her frontal cortex where she has lost 50 percent of the brain cells. With this handicap, she has lost her recent memory, and pretty much functions like a five-year old! While I don’t see her old self; at times she no longer recognizes me! I have great difficulty communicating with her. When the memory is gone, every thing to her is a new experience, and I cannot affect “change” Yet, Marie still has that “sweetness” about her! She realizes that something is wrong, and thanks me for helping her, and says, “I love you”.
“Happy Anniversary, Pete!”
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
White Christmas.
WHITE CHRISTMAS!
Every month, Steve Barkhurst drops in, with his keyboard, and entertains us with songs, for an hour. He is really talented and has a special program each month. He sings, along with his playing, and invites all of us to join him. He makes it especially interesting by reciting the history of each tune - the names of those that wrote the words and music and the year written, and additional background.
Today, was his Christmas program. He will present it 56 different places during December. He played many of the popular Christmas songs, and described how they ranked in popularity each year, as determined by the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP). The Society determined this ranking by recapping the annual royalties for the music that they collected, and distributed to the authors. The Society makes the distinction between Christmas songs (which are not overly religious) and Christmas carols. The most performed “Holiday” songs, for the first five years of the 21st century, in rank-order, follow:
1. “The Christmas Song”
2. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”
3.”Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
4. “Winter Wonderland”
5. “White Christmas”.
Note: Most years, prior to year 2000, Bing Crosby’s rendition of White Christmas was the favorite. Irving Berlin wrote the song in early 1940. “White Christmas” was introduced by Bing Crosby in the 1942 musical-film - “Holiday Inn”. He sung it in a duet with Marjorie Reynolds.
“White Christmas” is emotional for me every time that I hear it. My mind goes back to Christmas eve - 1942, when I first heard it at midnight mass. I was “homesick!” - my first Christmas spent away from home. I was stationed in Cutbank, Montana with the 2nd Bomb Group flying B-17’s. We were involved with operational training, prior to going overseas.
December is a busy month for Steve, as he will present his music 56 times before Christmas. Next month he will present songs written by women. .
Every month, Steve Barkhurst drops in, with his keyboard, and entertains us with songs, for an hour. He is really talented and has a special program each month. He sings, along with his playing, and invites all of us to join him. He makes it especially interesting by reciting the history of each tune - the names of those that wrote the words and music and the year written, and additional background.
Today, was his Christmas program. He will present it 56 different places during December. He played many of the popular Christmas songs, and described how they ranked in popularity each year, as determined by the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers (ASCAP). The Society determined this ranking by recapping the annual royalties for the music that they collected, and distributed to the authors. The Society makes the distinction between Christmas songs (which are not overly religious) and Christmas carols. The most performed “Holiday” songs, for the first five years of the 21st century, in rank-order, follow:
1. “The Christmas Song”
2. “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”
3.”Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”
4. “Winter Wonderland”
5. “White Christmas”.
Note: Most years, prior to year 2000, Bing Crosby’s rendition of White Christmas was the favorite. Irving Berlin wrote the song in early 1940. “White Christmas” was introduced by Bing Crosby in the 1942 musical-film - “Holiday Inn”. He sung it in a duet with Marjorie Reynolds.
“White Christmas” is emotional for me every time that I hear it. My mind goes back to Christmas eve - 1942, when I first heard it at midnight mass. I was “homesick!” - my first Christmas spent away from home. I was stationed in Cutbank, Montana with the 2nd Bomb Group flying B-17’s. We were involved with operational training, prior to going overseas.
December is a busy month for Steve, as he will present his music 56 times before Christmas. Next month he will present songs written by women. .
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
CHRISTMAS CARDS
Christmas Cards
It seems as though I am always working on a “project”. My current project is seasonal. A couple of weeks ago, Mary took me up to Vacaville to attend Kaiser’s “Open House”, and tour of their new Medical Clinic, which opened in November.
Afterwards, she took me over to the Factory Outlet shops so that I could look at Christmas cards. We ended up at Papyrus. They still had a good selection of cards, and they were marked “70% off “. I really was interested then. They were good quality cards. I determined this not only from the weight of the paper, but also because the envelopes were lined with gold-colored paper. When I was quite young, I was really impressed when my parents received such a card. I made one mistake. I didn’t associate the size of the cards, and the good quality of the paper, with requiring extra postage! When one is 90 years old , one would think that this reasoning would be intuitive.
I addressed the cards, and Sue offered to take our Christmas letter to Kinko’s for copies, and then stuff them in the envelopes, along with putting the stamps and return address labels on the envelopes. Some of the envelopes then looked like they might be overweight, so I checked them on my small-antique hand-held scale. Some were heavier than one ounce, while others weighed less than - or equal to one ounce. We decided that she would have the post office check their weights, and buy 17 cent stamps for the “heavy ones”. Sue was telling Tom about this, and his comment was “Don’t weigh each card, just buy a 17 cent stamp for each one.”
I kept thinking about his comment, Marie was diagnosed with dementia about nine months ago. Ever since I have read whatever article I saw on the subject, It is really fascinating how the brain works - or doesn’t work, as the case may be. However our difference in thinking is not brain related, but reflects how we were raised. My “learning” years occurred during the years of the Great Depression (the early 1930’s). Then, we didn’t have an extra 17 cents! With this money, we could have bought a loaf of bread, a quart of milk or a gallon of gas. So, we did what we had to do! In Tom’s formative years - some 35 years later, a family had more “wherewithal” for discretionary spending. His “Boomer generation learned to make life easier, rather than do what was dictated by the family’s economic circumstances.
It seems as though I am always working on a “project”. My current project is seasonal. A couple of weeks ago, Mary took me up to Vacaville to attend Kaiser’s “Open House”, and tour of their new Medical Clinic, which opened in November.
Afterwards, she took me over to the Factory Outlet shops so that I could look at Christmas cards. We ended up at Papyrus. They still had a good selection of cards, and they were marked “70% off “. I really was interested then. They were good quality cards. I determined this not only from the weight of the paper, but also because the envelopes were lined with gold-colored paper. When I was quite young, I was really impressed when my parents received such a card. I made one mistake. I didn’t associate the size of the cards, and the good quality of the paper, with requiring extra postage! When one is 90 years old , one would think that this reasoning would be intuitive.
I addressed the cards, and Sue offered to take our Christmas letter to Kinko’s for copies, and then stuff them in the envelopes, along with putting the stamps and return address labels on the envelopes. Some of the envelopes then looked like they might be overweight, so I checked them on my small-antique hand-held scale. Some were heavier than one ounce, while others weighed less than - or equal to one ounce. We decided that she would have the post office check their weights, and buy 17 cent stamps for the “heavy ones”. Sue was telling Tom about this, and his comment was “Don’t weigh each card, just buy a 17 cent stamp for each one.”
I kept thinking about his comment, Marie was diagnosed with dementia about nine months ago. Ever since I have read whatever article I saw on the subject, It is really fascinating how the brain works - or doesn’t work, as the case may be. However our difference in thinking is not brain related, but reflects how we were raised. My “learning” years occurred during the years of the Great Depression (the early 1930’s). Then, we didn’t have an extra 17 cents! With this money, we could have bought a loaf of bread, a quart of milk or a gallon of gas. So, we did what we had to do! In Tom’s formative years - some 35 years later, a family had more “wherewithal” for discretionary spending. His “Boomer generation learned to make life easier, rather than do what was dictated by the family’s economic circumstances.
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