Vallejo
July 28, 2007.
Dear Julia and Arval:
Thanks for your welcome letter, Julia. You write very well and interestingly. We enjoy reading them. Marie mentioned what nice handwriting you have, Julia. I told her if I didn’t know better, I would assume that you went to a Catholic school. That is what I attribute my legibility. I went to the second semester of the seventh grade, and the eighth grade, to St. Mary’s school in Berea, Ohio. Sister Edith was our teacher and principal of the grade school. She really drilled us in the Palmer method of writing. I must have dreamed of doing vertical lines and circles - freehand.
You both have good attitudes on “Life”! this good quality certainly makes coping with your aging a little easier. With your bad knees, Julia, you should tell people that you shouldn’t have been such a good athlete! Now, you are paying for it.
Your son, Larry, really received a valuable legacy with the family’s genealogy records. I have quite a bit of background data on my Dad’s family (French Huguenots) who came to this country around 1700. I got a lot of this great info from your Family History Library in Salt Lake City. What a beautiful resource for all of us. We haven’t been to Salt lake City for four years, I guess. It is difficult for Marie to sit for so long - even though it is only an hour and a half flight. We both would like to see what the area of the Inn looks like today. That’s progress, I guess. I sure miss those visits - and riding down to see you both.
We receive a lot of support ( meals, rides, visits etc) from our three daughters living in Fairfield - 15 miles North on I-80 - about 40 miles South of Sacramento.
We like Vallejo weather, too. We usually get the cool breeze off the Pacific, without too much fog, in the summer. In the winter, we have milder weather, too. It hits 100 degrees once or twice a year, and we seldom get a frost in the winter. We get most all of our rain( about 20 inches) during the six months - October-April.
Three years after I retired (1986), we moved here from our large house in the middle of the city. It was a very nice three-story home, but after our five daughters left home we didn’t want to maintain all the “dead” space and yard. But, as you know, it was hard to leave, as we lived there for 24 years - the longest tenure of any place. We have lived here for 21 years! It doesn’t seem possible. It was a smart move, because now we are on one level - three bedrooms and two baths. It is really convenient to get around. We walk out our kitchen/family room door right on to our patio in the back yard.
I don’t know if we are the oldest couple in our St. Dominic’s parish, but we are the second oldest of the service that we attend! So, we are close to it. Marie is 84 - last May, and I will be 89 in November! I assume that both your and Arval’s parents were long lived.
I think that we should be going into a Residential Care facility in Fairfield, where three of our daughters live. But, I can’t convince Marie that this is right for us. She thinks like you do, Julia -and I think that all women who treasure their home feel the same - that you will die at home in your sleep. This is not realistic. Statistically, this just doesn’t happen. It is not the case. While such a facility is very expensive (probably $5,000 a month for the two of us), you certainly would have peace of mind with the 24 hour care. Either alternative has its advantages and disadvantages, like all options have. The best solution is where you are ambulatory - going in - and can stay in the same facility - as you require more care right on to the final stage. These places usually require a substantial up-front payment. Do you have any plans for your next move?
At this stage, we don’t have too many friends left. Some live at a distance, and we communicate by e-mail, letter or phone. While we used to visit each other, those days are gone. We have two very close friends, that we have known for over 60 years. They live in Marin County - about an hours drive. We used to meet, at least once a month, at a restaurant for lunch, but don’t do this anymore. She is practically house-bound because of blindness and ALS symptoms. She had a mild stroke about six months ago. Her husband (his brother married my sister) provides her care. While he still drives and does the shopping and cooking, his health is deteriorating like it is for the rest of us. He wears a hearing aid, and has congestive heart failure (like I do.). He is also a diabetic. He is still recovering from pneumonia (in the hospital twice). It is ironic. They moved up here from their nice home in Montecito (adjacent to Santa Barbara) to be closer to some of their \kids and friends. We had many nice years sharing each others company, anyway.
What is so great is that we have very good friends who live only 15 miles away in Concord. He and I used to work in the same office at California and Hawaiian Sugar Company. We have been friends for 43 years! What is so amazing is that they are 20 years younger! We are very compatible with many same interests - which you need in such a case. They are very good to us, and thoughtful. They do al the driving and pick us up for our lunches together, trips to museums etc. They even invited us to accompany them on a drive down to Los Angeles - which we enthusiastically accepted. We saw the fairly new Getty Museum, and really had a nice time. So, we tell our younger acquaintances to be sure and develop some younger friends, to prevent loneliness, if their older friends die first. We also tell younger people to be sure and do your traveling when you are younger - even if you have to borrow the money. For if you wait until retirement, you might not be able to do it. It has really worked well for us. We are very thankful!
About it, I guess Afraid that I will get carpal tunnel syndrome!
All of our love,
Marie and Ray.
Dear Julia & Arval;
It looks like Ray has given you all our news. But, I want to say “Hello’ & that we think of you often.
Love,
Marie.