VALENTINE’S DAY
This is Saturday, February 14, 2009. HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! I had a very nice day today. It was one of the nicest of this special day, and I have experienced many great Valentine days during my 90 years.
First of all, my three daughters checked in with their Valentine greetings. I always enjoy Mary’s, Joan’s and Sue’s visits. We see them more often now, that we are all living in Fairfield.
This morning, the phone rang, and I debated whether to answer it, or let the call go through to Voice Mail. (We get a lot of “junk” phone calls - most of the messages are recordings.) I decided to answer - I’m glad that I did. It was Dody - my high school sweetheart - calling, to wish me a Happy Valentines Day and say “I love you.” I first heard her speak those tender words 75 years ago. They still perked up my congestive heart. I didn’t hear the words of a mature- 89 year old woman, but the bubbly- giggly words of a 15 year old! Music for my soul.
Dody and I went steady for her last three years of high school, and my last two years of high school and first year of college. “Going steady” may seem strange, and quaint, today, but then we were all comfortable with the custom. When I wasn’t playing in the high school band, playing football or running track, I would walk her home from school. One of my hands held hers (I must have been afraid of her getting away!), and carrying our books with my other hand. When I was with her I had goose bumps. I am sure that most people who are in love experience this same emotion! I looked forward to double, and triple dating, (no seat belts back then), with my friends, especially, to the Friday night dances in the Berea High School gym.
In the summer of 1937, (during the Great Depression), the New York Central Railroad was consolidating their offices. My Dad was transferred from Cleveland to Detroit, and we moved from Berea to Ypsilanti. This really put a crimp on Dody’s and my romance. It tested the old adage - “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” ---(of someone else!) While I visited her a few times in Berea, and she reciprocated by coming to Ypsilanti once, the distance between us became too big an obstacle. Too, World War II came along and scrambled the lives of so many of us - distant military transfers and meeting new people. The generation before ours was born and died in the same town - never venturing far a field. Dody went on to Baldwin Wallace College, in Berea, where she met her future husband. I ended up in Tulare for primary flight training. This is where I met Marie - at Rankin Field, where she was working. That was 65 years ago!
This evening, Quail Creek put on a very nice Valentine Dinner. Joan was our guest and we had a very nice time. When we got to our table, there was a unique favor on the plate - huge strawberries that had been dipped in dark chocolate! They were packed in a clear plastic container, tied with a red ribbon, with the words “Love” printed along it. I was impressed. With the price of the cacao bean going out of sight, this was a valuable gift. To top it off, they served a delicious lobster dinner. What a way to go! A great harpist played during dinner. Before leaving, I stopped by and commented what a talented musician she was. I told her that I enjoyed her playing “Embraceable You”. I explained that it was my wife’s and my special song for 65 years. She told me that a friend of hers did the arranging of it.
In all fairness, I must say that the festive spirit was dampened when I watched Marie during dinner. She wasn’t in the moment. Her previously sharp brain has betrayed her. It is not functioning properly. Consequently, she either doesn’t always respond, or her brain gives improper signals. She knows that something is wrong, but doesn’t comprehend. She doesn’t complain and is her former -sweet self. When she asks me to help her, and tells me that she loves me, it tears me apart. Alzheimer -dementia is a terrible curse - not only for the person experiencing it, but also for the family that is trying to cope, and understand it. We hear more about depression now, than we used to a generation ago, because of better diagnosis and reporting, and a larger population exposed to the disease, Too, we are all living longer! Previous generations usually died of something else, even though an autopsy at death would probably show early warnings of the dementia. Too, with our increased longevity, we are experiencing other chronic health problems. Other generations usually didn’t experience these ailments because they died first.
I was all wound up and couldn’t go to sleep. I got up, and so it wasn‘t a total loss, I put a CD of Frank Sinatra on the machine. Wouldn’t you know, he was singing “My Funny Valentine”.
RCL 2/14/09.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEANNE!
Today is Friday the 13th! My only sister, Jeanne, was born 89 years ago today -also on a Friday. She was 20 months younger than I. We were close - almost like being twins.
Our Mother was visiting her parents when she went into labor. Jeanne was born in our grandparents’ home. I never got all the details as to whether a doctor was there, a mid-wife or no one.
Our Dad worked for the New York Central Railroad. Jeanne and I traveled quite a bit, free of charge - using his pass. We both were out of high school and living with our parents at 715 Oak street in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
We visited Niagara Falls. We also went from Detroit to Cleveland a few times to see Glenn Miller and his orchestra, and other “Swing” bands play at the Hippodrome theatre. Jeanne attended my graduation from Bombardiers’ School in Victorville, California, on October 31, 1942.
Jeanne went on to marry Bob Gibbens, and they had eight children. Bob was the brother of Stephen Gibbens, who along with his wife Maggie have been our best friends for over 63 years.
We visited Jeanne and Bob - numerous times - for many years - both in Michigan and in Florida. They, in turn, also reciprocated, by visiting us in Vallejo many times.
Jeanne died on September 24, 1998 at the hospital in Stuart Florida, at the age of 78. She never recovered from surgery for an abdominal hernia ten days previously.
Happy Birthday, Jeanne. I miss you a lot.
RCL - 2/13/09.
Today is Friday the 13th! My only sister, Jeanne, was born 89 years ago today -also on a Friday. She was 20 months younger than I. We were close - almost like being twins.
Our Mother was visiting her parents when she went into labor. Jeanne was born in our grandparents’ home. I never got all the details as to whether a doctor was there, a mid-wife or no one.
Our Dad worked for the New York Central Railroad. Jeanne and I traveled quite a bit, free of charge - using his pass. We both were out of high school and living with our parents at 715 Oak street in Ypsilanti, Michigan.
We visited Niagara Falls. We also went from Detroit to Cleveland a few times to see Glenn Miller and his orchestra, and other “Swing” bands play at the Hippodrome theatre. Jeanne attended my graduation from Bombardiers’ School in Victorville, California, on October 31, 1942.
Jeanne went on to marry Bob Gibbens, and they had eight children. Bob was the brother of Stephen Gibbens, who along with his wife Maggie have been our best friends for over 63 years.
We visited Jeanne and Bob - numerous times - for many years - both in Michigan and in Florida. They, in turn, also reciprocated, by visiting us in Vallejo many times.
Jeanne died on September 24, 1998 at the hospital in Stuart Florida, at the age of 78. She never recovered from surgery for an abdominal hernia ten days previously.
Happy Birthday, Jeanne. I miss you a lot.
RCL - 2/13/09.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Heartwarming
Heartwarming Sight
Marie didn’t feel well during last night. She didn’t feel like going down to the dining room, with me, for breakfast. So, when the CNA came in this morning, to help her get dressed, Marie declined her offer. The nurse authorized her having breakfast in the room. When I finished eating breakfast, I ordered pancakes and bacon, fresh fruit and milk, and brought it up to her.
She was still in her pajamas at noon, and didn’t feel like getting dressed for lunch. So, I brought back a grilled -cheese sandwich for her. Our youngest daughter Sue, brought back our laundry (which she does for us) just before dinner. Marie was glad to see her, and perked up a bit. Sue asked her if she could help her get dressed for dinner. Marie agreed, and Sue helped her dress.
It was very inspiring for me, to see Sue returning the love to her Mother, that she had received, over 45 years ago! My thoughts flashed back to that period when Marie would supervise, or help, Anne, Mary, Beth, Joan and Sue get dressed for church, or for school. It was no small task when you throw in the hair brushing and rubber bands! Yet, I don’t ever remember being late to Mass, or seeing a “Tardy” mark on their report cards.
Role reversal is a very interesting phenomenon. I only wish that I had a son to help me dress when the need comes. After Sue was born, I mentioned to Marie that I would like to have a son - knowing that she had the same desire. But, calling on her superior intellect, she said “No more. If you want a son, adopt one.” I either never got around to do this, or gave it up as not a good idea. An example of unfinished business!
When I was young, I should have realized what would lie ahead. My Mom and Dad earned “Sainthood” recognition, for all of the tender-loving care they provided in our home. They were caretakers for my Grandmother Flood, and her sister Aunt Nellie. (They both died in our home.) They also boarded my sister Jeanne, and her daughter Rae, for a couple of years, while Jeanne’s husband Bob was stationed in Italy. They cared for my brother Bob in their home, after he was released from a lengthy stay at St. Josephs Hospital in Ann Arbor. He had been critically injured in an auto accident.
I pray that my parents have passed their TLC genes on to me.
RCL 2/12/09.
Marie didn’t feel well during last night. She didn’t feel like going down to the dining room, with me, for breakfast. So, when the CNA came in this morning, to help her get dressed, Marie declined her offer. The nurse authorized her having breakfast in the room. When I finished eating breakfast, I ordered pancakes and bacon, fresh fruit and milk, and brought it up to her.
She was still in her pajamas at noon, and didn’t feel like getting dressed for lunch. So, I brought back a grilled -cheese sandwich for her. Our youngest daughter Sue, brought back our laundry (which she does for us) just before dinner. Marie was glad to see her, and perked up a bit. Sue asked her if she could help her get dressed for dinner. Marie agreed, and Sue helped her dress.
It was very inspiring for me, to see Sue returning the love to her Mother, that she had received, over 45 years ago! My thoughts flashed back to that period when Marie would supervise, or help, Anne, Mary, Beth, Joan and Sue get dressed for church, or for school. It was no small task when you throw in the hair brushing and rubber bands! Yet, I don’t ever remember being late to Mass, or seeing a “Tardy” mark on their report cards.
Role reversal is a very interesting phenomenon. I only wish that I had a son to help me dress when the need comes. After Sue was born, I mentioned to Marie that I would like to have a son - knowing that she had the same desire. But, calling on her superior intellect, she said “No more. If you want a son, adopt one.” I either never got around to do this, or gave it up as not a good idea. An example of unfinished business!
When I was young, I should have realized what would lie ahead. My Mom and Dad earned “Sainthood” recognition, for all of the tender-loving care they provided in our home. They were caretakers for my Grandmother Flood, and her sister Aunt Nellie. (They both died in our home.) They also boarded my sister Jeanne, and her daughter Rae, for a couple of years, while Jeanne’s husband Bob was stationed in Italy. They cared for my brother Bob in their home, after he was released from a lengthy stay at St. Josephs Hospital in Ann Arbor. He had been critically injured in an auto accident.
I pray that my parents have passed their TLC genes on to me.
RCL 2/12/09.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday Outing
OUTING
Another Wednesday - another outing! I t should be interesting. We will visit our State Capitol in Sacramento. We leave at 10:45AM. There are ten of us aboard: Tony, our driver par excellence, Kelli, our Activities Director, and Fabi, our Concierge, who is training to replace our Activities Director, while she is on maternity leave. Also, there are ten non-paying passengers. Tony does a good job. Not only is he a very safe driver, but he has a great disposition! He has a lot of patience and understanding, dealing with us older people. For example: He had to operate the power lift to load the person on the bus, in her power chair, and secure her. A staff person said that she couldn’t go because she had a doctor’s appointment. Tony was un-phased by undoing all the work that he had just finished. This inconvenience delayed our departure 15 minutes. Kelli is very good with the passengers. She is friendly and understanding and firm. Fabi was very helpful. She did the “heavy lifting” - by pushing a large man - first on his walker, and then all around the Capitol building in a wheel chair. All three were good company, and made the trip that much more pleasant.
We passed the Shell station on North Texas Street, and I saw the price of gas sign - $2.09 and 9/10c a gallon. A little farther on, Chevron was a penny more per gallon. I wonder why the service stations still use their archaic nine tenths of a cent pricing? Originally, it was a marketing gimmick. But when gas moved above $1.00 per gallon, there was no further need for such foolishness. Too, it’s a lot more work for the station operator, with their numerous price changes.
We are heading East on I-80 to Sacramento. The traffic is light. The hills are finally turning green. But we need a lot more rain before they become lush. Otherwise, there will be water rationing this summer. The bus rides like a truck! But, it is a truck! The cabin is mounted on a F-350 chassis! I will bet that most trucks give the driver a better ride than this - certainly those that are fitted with the Air-Ride system. Our bus just came off warrantee, so not much chance of getting replacement springs and shocks.
We are passing through Vacaville = the formerly famous Nut Tree complex on the left, and the Factory Outlet stores on the right. The new Kaiser Hospital, and Medical Center, is on the left. There are large fruit orchards on both sides. This Sacramento Valley is flat - as far as the eyes can see.
A mileage sign, on the right-hand shoulder, says, Davis -8
Sacramento - 20
We are passing the old Milk Farm signage on the left. Forty years ago, our family used to stop there for a delicious milk shake. There is nothing like “cold” to cope with 100 degree ambient temperatures, and no air conditioner in the car. A large fleet of bottom-dump sugar beet trucks are sitting idle on the right. We are now by-passing Davis. The large University of California campus is off to the left.
We are leaving Solano County and are now traveling in Yolo County. The main line -rail tracks run parallel to the highway, and a freight train is heading westbound in the opposite direction. Auto row dealers on the right side. There are beaucoup new and used cars crying out for an owner. We are traveling now on the Yolo Causeway. When we moved to Vallejo, from Hawaii in 1962, this area flooded about every winter. Cal Trans finally provided some flood control, by raising the road bed 12-15 feet.
We take the Highway 50-Lake Tahoe exit - off I-80 - and cross the Sacramento river onto Capitol-Mall in downtown Sacramento. I can’t believe all the tall buildings in the area. They weren’t here in 1952. At the time, Marie and I lived in Sacramento for two years, during the Korean War, and those buildings weren’t here then. Of course, Sacramento has grown a lot, too. At one time It was the fastest growing area in the country. We arrive at the Capitol at 11:30AM. It is a beautiful sunny day. The temperature is about 65 degrees.
Since 9/11, one can’t get away from Security. So, we were screened. There are a lot of people moving around inside the capitol building - many school kids on a field trip. We couldn’t get a guided tour of the capitol building, as we needed at least 20 people. We walked past the exhibits of all of California’s counties. I particularly enjoyed seeing Solano county’s. (Our county) It was established in 1850 - a year after the gold Rush.
We stopped by the Old Governor’s Office, and it was very interesting. A docent was explaining things, and his narration was very informative and interesting to me. It took 14 years to construct this magnificent building. They broke ground in 1860 and the building was completed in 1874. The Great San Francisco Earthquake was on April 16, 1906. At that time, San Francisco had a population of 150, 000 people. One half of them left the city afterwards. Many of them came on ferries up to Sacramento. They set up tents on the capitol grounds to house them. This was interesting to me, because Marie has told the story of her Mother coming to Sacramento by boat, afterwards. She was 23. But, the story seemed to end there. The docent went on to say that the Legislature and Staff also have to go through Security. A few years ago’ a truck slammed into the Capitol building. Now, they have a fence surrounding the building. There was some smoke damage to the building.
We had a nice lunch at 1:00 PM, in the cafeteria, in the basement.
I don’t know who does the catering but the food is very good, and is reasonably priced.
When we got outside, there were a lot of news trucks. I thought that there must be some breaking news - like they agreed to a budget. That would be news! The budget is already a few months overdue. The State plans on issuing I.O.U’s for the 2008 income tax refunds!
We leave Sacramento at 2:30PM, and head down L Street. (There are a lot of one way streets in Sacramento.) We pass the old Greyhound Bus Station on the right. Next was Macy’s and the Westfield Downtown Plaza. Raley Field is off to the left. The Sacramento River Cats (AAA affiliate of the Oakland A’s) play there. While driving in the Davis area, I can barely see Mt. Diablo to the south, through the haze. Visibility is about 50 miles.
We are back at Quail Creek at 3:30PM. Tony told me that our round trip covered 88 miles. While it was tiring, it was a very nice day! I was disappointed that we didn’t get to see Arnold, and his Governor’s office. That can wait until the next time.
RCL - 1/29/09.
Another Wednesday - another outing! I t should be interesting. We will visit our State Capitol in Sacramento. We leave at 10:45AM. There are ten of us aboard: Tony, our driver par excellence, Kelli, our Activities Director, and Fabi, our Concierge, who is training to replace our Activities Director, while she is on maternity leave. Also, there are ten non-paying passengers. Tony does a good job. Not only is he a very safe driver, but he has a great disposition! He has a lot of patience and understanding, dealing with us older people. For example: He had to operate the power lift to load the person on the bus, in her power chair, and secure her. A staff person said that she couldn’t go because she had a doctor’s appointment. Tony was un-phased by undoing all the work that he had just finished. This inconvenience delayed our departure 15 minutes. Kelli is very good with the passengers. She is friendly and understanding and firm. Fabi was very helpful. She did the “heavy lifting” - by pushing a large man - first on his walker, and then all around the Capitol building in a wheel chair. All three were good company, and made the trip that much more pleasant.
We passed the Shell station on North Texas Street, and I saw the price of gas sign - $2.09 and 9/10c a gallon. A little farther on, Chevron was a penny more per gallon. I wonder why the service stations still use their archaic nine tenths of a cent pricing? Originally, it was a marketing gimmick. But when gas moved above $1.00 per gallon, there was no further need for such foolishness. Too, it’s a lot more work for the station operator, with their numerous price changes.
We are heading East on I-80 to Sacramento. The traffic is light. The hills are finally turning green. But we need a lot more rain before they become lush. Otherwise, there will be water rationing this summer. The bus rides like a truck! But, it is a truck! The cabin is mounted on a F-350 chassis! I will bet that most trucks give the driver a better ride than this - certainly those that are fitted with the Air-Ride system. Our bus just came off warrantee, so not much chance of getting replacement springs and shocks.
We are passing through Vacaville = the formerly famous Nut Tree complex on the left, and the Factory Outlet stores on the right. The new Kaiser Hospital, and Medical Center, is on the left. There are large fruit orchards on both sides. This Sacramento Valley is flat - as far as the eyes can see.
A mileage sign, on the right-hand shoulder, says, Davis -8
Sacramento - 20
We are passing the old Milk Farm signage on the left. Forty years ago, our family used to stop there for a delicious milk shake. There is nothing like “cold” to cope with 100 degree ambient temperatures, and no air conditioner in the car. A large fleet of bottom-dump sugar beet trucks are sitting idle on the right. We are now by-passing Davis. The large University of California campus is off to the left.
We are leaving Solano County and are now traveling in Yolo County. The main line -rail tracks run parallel to the highway, and a freight train is heading westbound in the opposite direction. Auto row dealers on the right side. There are beaucoup new and used cars crying out for an owner. We are traveling now on the Yolo Causeway. When we moved to Vallejo, from Hawaii in 1962, this area flooded about every winter. Cal Trans finally provided some flood control, by raising the road bed 12-15 feet.
We take the Highway 50-Lake Tahoe exit - off I-80 - and cross the Sacramento river onto Capitol-Mall in downtown Sacramento. I can’t believe all the tall buildings in the area. They weren’t here in 1952. At the time, Marie and I lived in Sacramento for two years, during the Korean War, and those buildings weren’t here then. Of course, Sacramento has grown a lot, too. At one time It was the fastest growing area in the country. We arrive at the Capitol at 11:30AM. It is a beautiful sunny day. The temperature is about 65 degrees.
Since 9/11, one can’t get away from Security. So, we were screened. There are a lot of people moving around inside the capitol building - many school kids on a field trip. We couldn’t get a guided tour of the capitol building, as we needed at least 20 people. We walked past the exhibits of all of California’s counties. I particularly enjoyed seeing Solano county’s. (Our county) It was established in 1850 - a year after the gold Rush.
We stopped by the Old Governor’s Office, and it was very interesting. A docent was explaining things, and his narration was very informative and interesting to me. It took 14 years to construct this magnificent building. They broke ground in 1860 and the building was completed in 1874. The Great San Francisco Earthquake was on April 16, 1906. At that time, San Francisco had a population of 150, 000 people. One half of them left the city afterwards. Many of them came on ferries up to Sacramento. They set up tents on the capitol grounds to house them. This was interesting to me, because Marie has told the story of her Mother coming to Sacramento by boat, afterwards. She was 23. But, the story seemed to end there. The docent went on to say that the Legislature and Staff also have to go through Security. A few years ago’ a truck slammed into the Capitol building. Now, they have a fence surrounding the building. There was some smoke damage to the building.
We had a nice lunch at 1:00 PM, in the cafeteria, in the basement.
I don’t know who does the catering but the food is very good, and is reasonably priced.
When we got outside, there were a lot of news trucks. I thought that there must be some breaking news - like they agreed to a budget. That would be news! The budget is already a few months overdue. The State plans on issuing I.O.U’s for the 2008 income tax refunds!
We leave Sacramento at 2:30PM, and head down L Street. (There are a lot of one way streets in Sacramento.) We pass the old Greyhound Bus Station on the right. Next was Macy’s and the Westfield Downtown Plaza. Raley Field is off to the left. The Sacramento River Cats (AAA affiliate of the Oakland A’s) play there. While driving in the Davis area, I can barely see Mt. Diablo to the south, through the haze. Visibility is about 50 miles.
We are back at Quail Creek at 3:30PM. Tony told me that our round trip covered 88 miles. While it was tiring, it was a very nice day! I was disappointed that we didn’t get to see Arnold, and his Governor’s office. That can wait until the next time.
RCL - 1/29/09.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
60th REUNION
REUNION
In our mail yesterday, was an envelope that caught my eye. On the front of the envelope - in large -bold gold letters was “Your 60th”. This rang a bell, even before I checked the return address - University of California - Berkeley. February - 2009 marks the 60th anniversary of my graduation from Cal! It can’t be! Where did all the subsequent years go? While Chancellor Birgeneau did congratulate me, the main purpose of his letter was to solicit funds. This is not the first letter I’ve received from the University. It seems that I hear from them weekly, asking for a donation. I haven’t contributed in all those 60 years, yet the University hasn’t been discouraged. My contribution would be more amenable if they spent some of their endowment funds on better causes. They have a huge fund - even after recent -large losses from their poor investment decisions. One would think that they would use some of their funding to subsidize needy students with their high tuition and text book costs!
“A lot of water has gone over….”, during the past 60 years! I will try and recall some of the major events:
1949 was not the best of years to complete college. There were 18,000 students at Berkeley and most of us were veterans from WWII, studying with big help of the great G.I. Bill. I started out at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. I was in pre-engineering as an Aeronautical Engineer. Having been a pilot in the Air Corps, I thought that would be a good career combination. But there were more students in the field than there were jobs available. Unless we were an “A” student, we were counseled by the University to change our majors. So, I graduated from Cal with a BS in Business Administration. I wanted to be an Industrial Engineer, so I had to take a couple of additional classes at Cal, after I graduated.
It was tough finding a job in 1949, with all of the veterans in the job market. I looked around the local area, as well applying for jobs in the Los Angeles area and the Northwest. I thought about applying to the airlines, but they had more pilot applications than they knew what to do with. Too, I would have started as a co-pilot, and they were being paid around $200 a month. So, I scratched that idea.
I was accepted by U.S. Steel in Pittsburg (CA), in their Production Planning Department. My starting salary was $200 a month. My wife Marie, who supported us while I was going through school was earning $275 a month at the time. She quit her job at California Research the day I graduated. I told her that she could have waited until I got a job. Her reply, “I wanted to give you more incentive”. Then, she complained that I wasn’t keeping her in the manner that she kept me!
I was recalled to Active Duty by the Air Force during the Korean War. I was based at Mather Field in Sacramento. Our first child (Anne) was born in Sacramento on October 17, 1951.
I returned to U.S Steel in January, 1953, living in Antioch. We built a new home there in 1955. Mary was born on January 17, 1955 at Kaiser in Walnut Creek, as was Beth on January 25, 1957.
I accepted a job offer from C. Brewer, of Honolulu, in 1957, and we flew over in a United Air Lines DC-6 (prop job) on January 15, 1958. We had high- head winds and it was a 13 hour flight - with three small kids! I was an Industrial Engineer at Olokele Sugar Company on Kauai. Our plantation set the Hawaiian-yield record of 14 tons of sugar per acre. Today - 50 years later - the plantation has been sold and the new owners are raising the cane to produce ethanol!
Joan was born in Waimea Hospital on April 20, 1959, as was Sue on December 7, 1961. In June, 1962 we returned to the Mainland on a DC-8 ( a jet), in 5 hours! The four and a half years that we spent in Hawaii was interesting. Besides making new friends, we got to experience Hawaii both as a Territory and also as a State.
We moved to Vallejo (CA) which was a short commute to Crockett, where California and Hawaiian Sugar refinery offered me a job, as an industrial engineer. I was assigned to the C & H Sugar corporate office in San Francisco in 1969, where I retired in 1983 as Manager of Internal Auditing.
We continued to live in Vallejo (two different places) in retirement until April 2008 when we moved to Quail Creek - an assisted living facility - in Fairfield.
RCL - 1/27/08
In our mail yesterday, was an envelope that caught my eye. On the front of the envelope - in large -bold gold letters was “Your 60th”. This rang a bell, even before I checked the return address - University of California - Berkeley. February - 2009 marks the 60th anniversary of my graduation from Cal! It can’t be! Where did all the subsequent years go? While Chancellor Birgeneau did congratulate me, the main purpose of his letter was to solicit funds. This is not the first letter I’ve received from the University. It seems that I hear from them weekly, asking for a donation. I haven’t contributed in all those 60 years, yet the University hasn’t been discouraged. My contribution would be more amenable if they spent some of their endowment funds on better causes. They have a huge fund - even after recent -large losses from their poor investment decisions. One would think that they would use some of their funding to subsidize needy students with their high tuition and text book costs!
“A lot of water has gone over….”, during the past 60 years! I will try and recall some of the major events:
1949 was not the best of years to complete college. There were 18,000 students at Berkeley and most of us were veterans from WWII, studying with big help of the great G.I. Bill. I started out at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. I was in pre-engineering as an Aeronautical Engineer. Having been a pilot in the Air Corps, I thought that would be a good career combination. But there were more students in the field than there were jobs available. Unless we were an “A” student, we were counseled by the University to change our majors. So, I graduated from Cal with a BS in Business Administration. I wanted to be an Industrial Engineer, so I had to take a couple of additional classes at Cal, after I graduated.
It was tough finding a job in 1949, with all of the veterans in the job market. I looked around the local area, as well applying for jobs in the Los Angeles area and the Northwest. I thought about applying to the airlines, but they had more pilot applications than they knew what to do with. Too, I would have started as a co-pilot, and they were being paid around $200 a month. So, I scratched that idea.
I was accepted by U.S. Steel in Pittsburg (CA), in their Production Planning Department. My starting salary was $200 a month. My wife Marie, who supported us while I was going through school was earning $275 a month at the time. She quit her job at California Research the day I graduated. I told her that she could have waited until I got a job. Her reply, “I wanted to give you more incentive”. Then, she complained that I wasn’t keeping her in the manner that she kept me!
I was recalled to Active Duty by the Air Force during the Korean War. I was based at Mather Field in Sacramento. Our first child (Anne) was born in Sacramento on October 17, 1951.
I returned to U.S Steel in January, 1953, living in Antioch. We built a new home there in 1955. Mary was born on January 17, 1955 at Kaiser in Walnut Creek, as was Beth on January 25, 1957.
I accepted a job offer from C. Brewer, of Honolulu, in 1957, and we flew over in a United Air Lines DC-6 (prop job) on January 15, 1958. We had high- head winds and it was a 13 hour flight - with three small kids! I was an Industrial Engineer at Olokele Sugar Company on Kauai. Our plantation set the Hawaiian-yield record of 14 tons of sugar per acre. Today - 50 years later - the plantation has been sold and the new owners are raising the cane to produce ethanol!
Joan was born in Waimea Hospital on April 20, 1959, as was Sue on December 7, 1961. In June, 1962 we returned to the Mainland on a DC-8 ( a jet), in 5 hours! The four and a half years that we spent in Hawaii was interesting. Besides making new friends, we got to experience Hawaii both as a Territory and also as a State.
We moved to Vallejo (CA) which was a short commute to Crockett, where California and Hawaiian Sugar refinery offered me a job, as an industrial engineer. I was assigned to the C & H Sugar corporate office in San Francisco in 1969, where I retired in 1983 as Manager of Internal Auditing.
We continued to live in Vallejo (two different places) in retirement until April 2008 when we moved to Quail Creek - an assisted living facility - in Fairfield.
RCL - 1/27/08
Monday, January 26, 2009
DEMENTIA
DEMENTIA
Dementia is a very debilitating and sad medical problem. While this is an under-statement, I say this from observing it’s effects close up - for over a year now. It is something that doesn’t improve over time - or go away - it just gets worse. The mind is a very complex organ.
I have read a lot about the subject, as I am part of the “old-old” cohort. Dementia used to be called “senility” or “second childhood”. Today, we know what it is, and refer to it as “dementia.” Also, I have audited many “Successful Aging” classes at Cal-Berkeley. The subject of dementia was discussed many times during these sessions. There seems to be more dementia today than ever before. There are many factors for this: - most of us are living longer than past generations, (who died before they became afflicted )- better diagnosis - a larger population - better reporting - or a combination of these reasons.
I first noticed Marie’s forgetfulness over a year ago. She was 84. She was returning, in the car, from a shopping trip. She told me that she couldn’t remember how to open the garage door. She finally remembered the garage-door opener. I suggested that she stop driving, and it wasn’t much longer when she did. From this point, her mental capability continued to decline.
I am surprised how fast her memory and comprehension continued to worsen. (Just now, she asked me, “Where is my Mom?”. I explained that she had died and is buried in the cemetery at Placerville, She said, “I don’t mean my first one, but my second one ”.) Such strange comments go on throughout the day. Also, she frequently will ask what time it is, even though there are numerous clocks in the rooms, and she has two watches. She will ask if it is time to go eat - just after we have returned from the dining room!
While still living in Vallejo - nine months ago - she functioned fairly well as far as the “activities of daily living” are concerned. She had difficulty recalling names, dates and recent experiences. Her interests deteriorated. She no longer was interested in reading, watching television., or gardening. These were important activities for her prior to this.
I started to do all the shopping, cooking and laundry. For a while it was no problem. But then, it became stressful, and I realized that I needed some help. I joined a Caregivers Support Group. The Facilitator, Fred Stephens from Santa Rosa, and the group, were very helpful with their advice and counseling. After listening to my “story”, and counseling with my three daughters and myself, Fred suggested that I get some help. My daughter looked into Meals on Wheels, and signed us up for the service. This worked out great for a few months - it took a load off me. But then, Marie decided that she didn’t care for the M.O.W. - so back to square one.
My daughters suggested that I get some respite care for Marie, so that I could get out for some fresh air. Fred stressed how important it was for caregivers to take care of their own health - mental and physical. Otherwise, not only would they not be able to care for their loved one, but they would probably pre-decease them. So, I was fortunate in getting Donna to stay with her. She was very good with Marie. She had a nursing background, along with a caring disposition and a nice personality. She was usually available on short notice, which was very convenient for me. Her staying with Marie permitted me to get out, without having a guilty conscience, knowing that she was in good and reliable hands.
I was afraid of both of us falling, and not being able to get to a phone, to call for help. So, I subscribed to a medical -alert system. This gave me peace of mind. While I felt more safe and secure, Marie couldn’t understand about pushing the pendant in an emergency, let alone wearing it.
Much before this, I started looking at local assisted -living facilities - anticipating a not too distant need, and for a more leisurely decision and transition. Marie wasn’t interested in moving, even though the reasons why she liked Vallejo were no longer valid. So my daughters and I looked at Quail Creek, a new assisted living facility in Fairfield. It is affiliated with Paradise Valley Estates. I was impressed with the facility on our initial visit, so I signed up. While it is expensive, personal care is labor intensive. We are receiving quality meals and care. We are now located in Fairfield (CA), close to our three daughters. They have been very supportive and most helpful. Without them, even with assisted living, I would not have been able to partially care for Marie.
The brain is a marvelous organ - complex and unique. When it deteriorates, it affects the functions that it controls. Dr. Pai is Head of the Neurology Department at the Kaiser Medical facility in Vallejo. He diagnosed Marie with having Alzheimer dementia. He based his decision on the MRI scan of her brain. He showed us the picture of her brain, and pointed out the frontal cortex, showing a 50% loss of brain cells. While I was very disappointed with his diagnosis, I wasn’t surprised. I had hoped that there might be a slim possibility that her dementia might be reversible (if it were caused by medications or other reasons.)
Dealing with a demented person 24/7 is very irritating and frustrating. I feel guilty, sometimes, for my poor reaction to these emotions. I pray daily that the Good Lord will give me more understanding and patience. I am having trouble adjusting to her personality changes, and dealing with her endless questions and strange actions. I tell myself that this isn’t the Marie that I knew for almost 65 years. I no longer know her. Dementia has robbed me of my wife, and my daughters have lost their Mother. Our ten grandkids have lost a grandmother and her friends have lost a friend. Marie’s actions (or inactions) are not voluntary, or premeditated, and I shouldn’t blame her by expecting normalcy. While I know this, it is hard to deal with. It doesn’t relieve my stress.
There are times that she doesn’t recognize me! After eating, she has said that she doesn’t want to go back to the room until that man leaves. That man was me! This is hurtful - even though I know that it is part of the beastly disease.
In the Caregivers’ sessions , Fred has emphasized that we are dealing with the mental equivalent of a five year old. But, I see a difference. You can talk to a five year old and communicate. They usually will comprehend. Also, you can teach and they can learn. At least that is the experience that I had with my five daughters, when they were five years old.
Fred told us that a person with dementia cannot make logical decisions and they cannot learn new things. Also, don’t argue with them - for you will always lose. I agree with him.
.
Marie’s vital signs are normal, yet she is severely handicapped. Marie frequently asks me what time it is, and if it is time to go and eat - quite frequently just after retuning from the dining room! She receives help, from the staff, getting dressed in the morning and help with her pajamas at night, They also give her frequent showers. But, she is stubborn and doesn’t want to cooperate. She would rather sleep. This is a big problem, and I have to intervene. Sometimes I am successful, while other times I just give up and tell them to let her dress herself, or go un-bathed, which is not always the best solution. This is the time for me to repeat the “Serenity Prayer”.
Disorientation is a big problem for her. This is a part of not remembering. This seems to be the case with all Alzheimer patients. We have two joining apartments, and this confuses her. She can’t locate her bedroom and her bathroom. I have to direct her. She no longer can distinguish the difference between the refrigerator and the microwave. There is no way that she could live alone. She would need one-on-one care, with the accompanying high expense.
Marie is often restless, and has started to “wander”. She will walk out into the hallway - and take-off. While her actions are startling and disruptive, they aren’t life threatening. I haven’t been too concerned because I know that many eyes are observing her. They would step in, if they thought that she was a danger to herself or others. Fortunately, most of her confusion occurs during the daylight hours. There has been one instance where she has wandered out of our unit at night. A CNA intercepted her and returned her here. Her doctor has prescribed a medication to diminish this
tendency, and it hasn’t happened again.
RCL - 1/26/09.
Dementia is a very debilitating and sad medical problem. While this is an under-statement, I say this from observing it’s effects close up - for over a year now. It is something that doesn’t improve over time - or go away - it just gets worse. The mind is a very complex organ.
I have read a lot about the subject, as I am part of the “old-old” cohort. Dementia used to be called “senility” or “second childhood”. Today, we know what it is, and refer to it as “dementia.” Also, I have audited many “Successful Aging” classes at Cal-Berkeley. The subject of dementia was discussed many times during these sessions. There seems to be more dementia today than ever before. There are many factors for this: - most of us are living longer than past generations, (who died before they became afflicted )- better diagnosis - a larger population - better reporting - or a combination of these reasons.
I first noticed Marie’s forgetfulness over a year ago. She was 84. She was returning, in the car, from a shopping trip. She told me that she couldn’t remember how to open the garage door. She finally remembered the garage-door opener. I suggested that she stop driving, and it wasn’t much longer when she did. From this point, her mental capability continued to decline.
I am surprised how fast her memory and comprehension continued to worsen. (Just now, she asked me, “Where is my Mom?”. I explained that she had died and is buried in the cemetery at Placerville, She said, “I don’t mean my first one, but my second one ”.) Such strange comments go on throughout the day. Also, she frequently will ask what time it is, even though there are numerous clocks in the rooms, and she has two watches. She will ask if it is time to go eat - just after we have returned from the dining room!
While still living in Vallejo - nine months ago - she functioned fairly well as far as the “activities of daily living” are concerned. She had difficulty recalling names, dates and recent experiences. Her interests deteriorated. She no longer was interested in reading, watching television., or gardening. These were important activities for her prior to this.
I started to do all the shopping, cooking and laundry. For a while it was no problem. But then, it became stressful, and I realized that I needed some help. I joined a Caregivers Support Group. The Facilitator, Fred Stephens from Santa Rosa, and the group, were very helpful with their advice and counseling. After listening to my “story”, and counseling with my three daughters and myself, Fred suggested that I get some help. My daughter looked into Meals on Wheels, and signed us up for the service. This worked out great for a few months - it took a load off me. But then, Marie decided that she didn’t care for the M.O.W. - so back to square one.
My daughters suggested that I get some respite care for Marie, so that I could get out for some fresh air. Fred stressed how important it was for caregivers to take care of their own health - mental and physical. Otherwise, not only would they not be able to care for their loved one, but they would probably pre-decease them. So, I was fortunate in getting Donna to stay with her. She was very good with Marie. She had a nursing background, along with a caring disposition and a nice personality. She was usually available on short notice, which was very convenient for me. Her staying with Marie permitted me to get out, without having a guilty conscience, knowing that she was in good and reliable hands.
I was afraid of both of us falling, and not being able to get to a phone, to call for help. So, I subscribed to a medical -alert system. This gave me peace of mind. While I felt more safe and secure, Marie couldn’t understand about pushing the pendant in an emergency, let alone wearing it.
Much before this, I started looking at local assisted -living facilities - anticipating a not too distant need, and for a more leisurely decision and transition. Marie wasn’t interested in moving, even though the reasons why she liked Vallejo were no longer valid. So my daughters and I looked at Quail Creek, a new assisted living facility in Fairfield. It is affiliated with Paradise Valley Estates. I was impressed with the facility on our initial visit, so I signed up. While it is expensive, personal care is labor intensive. We are receiving quality meals and care. We are now located in Fairfield (CA), close to our three daughters. They have been very supportive and most helpful. Without them, even with assisted living, I would not have been able to partially care for Marie.
The brain is a marvelous organ - complex and unique. When it deteriorates, it affects the functions that it controls. Dr. Pai is Head of the Neurology Department at the Kaiser Medical facility in Vallejo. He diagnosed Marie with having Alzheimer dementia. He based his decision on the MRI scan of her brain. He showed us the picture of her brain, and pointed out the frontal cortex, showing a 50% loss of brain cells. While I was very disappointed with his diagnosis, I wasn’t surprised. I had hoped that there might be a slim possibility that her dementia might be reversible (if it were caused by medications or other reasons.)
Dealing with a demented person 24/7 is very irritating and frustrating. I feel guilty, sometimes, for my poor reaction to these emotions. I pray daily that the Good Lord will give me more understanding and patience. I am having trouble adjusting to her personality changes, and dealing with her endless questions and strange actions. I tell myself that this isn’t the Marie that I knew for almost 65 years. I no longer know her. Dementia has robbed me of my wife, and my daughters have lost their Mother. Our ten grandkids have lost a grandmother and her friends have lost a friend. Marie’s actions (or inactions) are not voluntary, or premeditated, and I shouldn’t blame her by expecting normalcy. While I know this, it is hard to deal with. It doesn’t relieve my stress.
There are times that she doesn’t recognize me! After eating, she has said that she doesn’t want to go back to the room until that man leaves. That man was me! This is hurtful - even though I know that it is part of the beastly disease.
In the Caregivers’ sessions , Fred has emphasized that we are dealing with the mental equivalent of a five year old. But, I see a difference. You can talk to a five year old and communicate. They usually will comprehend. Also, you can teach and they can learn. At least that is the experience that I had with my five daughters, when they were five years old.
Fred told us that a person with dementia cannot make logical decisions and they cannot learn new things. Also, don’t argue with them - for you will always lose. I agree with him.
.
Marie’s vital signs are normal, yet she is severely handicapped. Marie frequently asks me what time it is, and if it is time to go and eat - quite frequently just after retuning from the dining room! She receives help, from the staff, getting dressed in the morning and help with her pajamas at night, They also give her frequent showers. But, she is stubborn and doesn’t want to cooperate. She would rather sleep. This is a big problem, and I have to intervene. Sometimes I am successful, while other times I just give up and tell them to let her dress herself, or go un-bathed, which is not always the best solution. This is the time for me to repeat the “Serenity Prayer”.
Disorientation is a big problem for her. This is a part of not remembering. This seems to be the case with all Alzheimer patients. We have two joining apartments, and this confuses her. She can’t locate her bedroom and her bathroom. I have to direct her. She no longer can distinguish the difference between the refrigerator and the microwave. There is no way that she could live alone. She would need one-on-one care, with the accompanying high expense.
Marie is often restless, and has started to “wander”. She will walk out into the hallway - and take-off. While her actions are startling and disruptive, they aren’t life threatening. I haven’t been too concerned because I know that many eyes are observing her. They would step in, if they thought that she was a danger to herself or others. Fortunately, most of her confusion occurs during the daylight hours. There has been one instance where she has wandered out of our unit at night. A CNA intercepted her and returned her here. Her doctor has prescribed a medication to diminish this
tendency, and it hasn’t happened again.
RCL - 1/26/09.
Friday, January 23, 2009
January 23, 2009.
January 23, 2009.
My Dad was born 119 years ago today, in Hillsdale, Michigan, and I still miss him very much. If I was born at home, I am sure that he was too. He was one of nine children born to Edith Cole and Peter L’Amoreaux. They were a musical family. Each of the siblings played at least one instrument, and some played two! My Dad played the e-flat- alto horn (similar sound of the French horn) and the violin.
He graduated from Hillsdale high school in the Class of 1908. A few years later, he went to work for the New York Central Railroad. He worked for them nearly 45 years, retiring from their Detroit office, as Chief Timekeeper, in 1955. He met my Mother, when they were working at the railroad’s freight office in Hillsdale. They were married on June 19, 1917 in Hillsdale. There were four of us kids (Jeanne, Bob, Jack and myself - Jack (Brother Mateo) and I survive) - plus Mom told me that she had four
mis-carriages.
My Dad registered for the Draft in World War I, but got a deferment. I assume it was because he was supporting his parents. Speaking of supportive, he was always there for me physically, and with his understanding and encouragement.
He always enjoyed humor. His genes now reside in me.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
My Dad was born 119 years ago today, in Hillsdale, Michigan, and I still miss him very much. If I was born at home, I am sure that he was too. He was one of nine children born to Edith Cole and Peter L’Amoreaux. They were a musical family. Each of the siblings played at least one instrument, and some played two! My Dad played the e-flat- alto horn (similar sound of the French horn) and the violin.
He graduated from Hillsdale high school in the Class of 1908. A few years later, he went to work for the New York Central Railroad. He worked for them nearly 45 years, retiring from their Detroit office, as Chief Timekeeper, in 1955. He met my Mother, when they were working at the railroad’s freight office in Hillsdale. They were married on June 19, 1917 in Hillsdale. There were four of us kids (Jeanne, Bob, Jack and myself - Jack (Brother Mateo) and I survive) - plus Mom told me that she had four
mis-carriages.
My Dad registered for the Draft in World War I, but got a deferment. I assume it was because he was supporting his parents. Speaking of supportive, he was always there for me physically, and with his understanding and encouragement.
He always enjoyed humor. His genes now reside in me.
Happy Birthday, Dad.
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